


I Have No Regrets

by Forever_Lethargic



Series: Cupid's Gardens [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Boi it does not end well, Cheol secretly loves them, Cupid is a little shit, Cupid is a member btw, Hanahaki Disease, Jihan are an official couple, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 03:49:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19310017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forever_Lethargic/pseuds/Forever_Lethargic
Summary: Seungcheol loves them both, Jeonghan and JoshuaHe can't remember the time where he fell in love with his best friends who were already in a committed relationship with each other but why does it matter? It's not like he's going to tell them and potentially ruin their friendshipHe's content with just being around them. He's content with loving them silently but then the flowers started to grow and with it a man that introduced himself as cupid. Cupid, though beautiful, was cruel and demanded the flower that he planted in his lungs.





	1. Luck and Misfortune

**Author's Note:**

> I live for Jihancheol angst

"Seungcheollie! Wake up!"

Seungcheol groans in his pillow as the person who just screamed in his ear jumps on top of him. The bed underneath him squeaks in protest of the extra weight and Seungcheol found himself opening his eyes earlier than expected

He cracks one eye open and saw a mop of long brown hair covering a pair of crescent eyes. Even half asleep, Seungcheol found his heart to start beating fast. He suppose that it always happens when he was around the two. He can never keep his heart in check around them but can you blame him? Try placing yourself in his shoes where he is always surrounded by his really handsome, breathtaking, ethereal...friends. Yeah, his friends.

"Are you awake now?" Jeonghan's angelic voice rang out his bedroom which he was so sure that he always locks in case of instances like this. The man's voice sent shivers down his spine as it did every time he hears Jeonghan speak. Jeonghan was not really a fan of personal space either. Seungcheol once asked him why he was so comfortable in Seungcheol's apartment when Seungcheol caught him eating ice cream in his pajamas in his living room and the man just shrugged and told him that whatever was Seungcheol's was his. Seungcheol could never understand the man's logic and at this point of their friendship, he really doesn't have the energy

"Could you please get off now?" Seungcheol gasp as Jeonghan further slumps himself to him. "It's starting to get hard to breathe, Hannie." 

"Don't be a big baby Cheol. I knew you were going to oversleep today and between us, I'm supposed to be the lazy friend." Jeonghan laughs and got off him but not before giving him a playful slap.

Seungcheol yawns and rubs the sleep from his eyes before settling it to the man that was now playing with the opened books on his table. It was a busy night, with three projects due next week and homeworks piled up, Seungcheol really deserves his sleep but his friends really love to make him suffer. He looks at Jeonghan and saw that the man was in his 'I actually put an effort in this' outfit.

"Why are you so dressed up?" Seungcheol asks and then looks around his room and found that it was only Jeonghan there. "Where's Joshua?"

Jeonghan laughs as he whipped his head and Seungcheol gulps when his heart started to palpitate with how beautiful Jeonghan is. Seungcheol wonders if the long haired angel actually knows how handsome he is. Jeonghan was the type of beauty that causes envy and desire in the eyes of many. His beauty dances between the lines of feminine and masculine but is was still so authentically Jeonghan. 

Jeonghan quirks his brows and put his hands on his hips. "Why do you always assume that where I am, Joshua is there as well?" Jeonghan huffs and brushed his hands through his hair to tuck it behind his ear. Seungcheol almost blushed but his mouth was already speaking

"Han, I am not assuming at all. I am stating." Seungcheol says and plops down on his bed once more. He closes his eyes and felt the bed dip once again

"I'm planning on taking Josh on a date." Jeonghan says softly. It made Seungcheol's heart tighten with the familiar feeling of jealousy that knew he could never keep against his friends since he loved them both.

Seungcheol didn't even know when he fell in love with his best friends....fully knowing that they were already in a committed relationship with each other. He doesn't remember when Jeonghan's laughter began sounding like heaven or Joshua's smiles started sending butterflies in his stomach or how he gets fluster with whenever the two hugs him...or when he started feeling like an outsider, or the gnawing jealousy or the loneliness or sadness that he feel when he sees them together

The soft tone that Jeonghan only reserves for his boyfriend was so evident that Seungcheol felt an itch on his throat but he swallowed it down. He casts his eyes on Jeonghan "And you woke me because?" he asks

Jeonghan gave a sigh and casts his own annoyed look at Seungcheol. "You know why. Shua's parents. Duh" the long haired man huffs and crossed his arms

"Ah." Seungcheol let out a snicker. It was really funny as well, not that he'll ever admit, that despite dating for three years now, Joshua's parents still think that their son is a straight religious man. Seungcheol knows just how stuck up religious Joshua's parents were, judging by the crosses that scatter their house and the saints and religious artifacts that decorated their house. Joshua himself is religious, Seungcheol had never met someone as gentle as Joshua nor as kind if you overlook his sometimes devious pranks. But instead of denying his sexuality nor deeming it as something against his beliefs, Joshua just says that whatever he was born as was something from God and that only God can judge him.

"Yep, his old folks is finally starting to catch up." Jeonghan snickers. "After three years." he added with a roll of his eyes and Seungcheol laughs

"Well, I hope that when he comes out, it will be... less bad that what we are expecting it to be." He says and Jeonghan casts him a look

"Not everyone has an open-minded parents as you Cheol. You can love who you want without hiding." Jeonghan smiles at him. "You're part of the lucky ones"

Seungcheol turns to his side upon hearing that. Seungcheol knew that he should be grateful and he is, to have accepting parents as his own. When Seungcheol came out to them, they accepted him with open arms and treated him the same as before. Yeah he was lucky but...Oh the irony of it all. If only Jeonghan knew how 'lucky' he was

"So you want me to come with you to...act as a buffer?" Seungcheol asks and Jeonghan nods with a hopeful smile on his face making his handsome face look so cute in Seungcheol's eyes

"Yep. But you just need to come until we get Shua. After that, you can do whatever you want!" Jeonghan claps his hand. "Please Cheol? His parents are starting to get strict and wouldn't let Shua out alone with me."

Seungcheol felt his lungs constrict. Jeonghan's words were still ringing in his ear. They...just want him around until... It's a date of course, he knows that but...he can't help but wish...

A couch was ripped out of him suddenly

Seungcheol felt his chest tighten painfully. Tears started to appear and clouds his vision. The feeling was something that has been happening for the last couple of weeks and it has been getting worse. He notices his breathing to become shorter and shorter everyday. He figured it was just because of dust or mucus but he started to worry since last night...he started to cough some blood

"Hey are you okay?" Jeonghan asks and Seungcheol felt his friend's hands on his back, trying to comfort him. It was supposed to be comforting but it somehow made the coughing worse

"Cheol, maybe you should visit the doctor." Jeonghan suggest and Seungcheol could see the worry etched in the man's eyes and he feels his chest constricts further. "I worry about you, you know." 

The words sent a ripple out coughing fits but Seungcheol managed to nod before standing up

"Yeah- I, ah, I guess." Seungcheol gasp and stares at Jeonghan. "It's been a, ah, busy-ugh, busy week." Seungcheol swallows the next onslaught of cough, it hurts but Jeonghan look so concerned and he didn't want to worry him

"Wait for me outside?" Seungcheol asks to which Jeonghan nods. "Yeah, sure. Thanks for doing this Cheollie."

"Of course Hannie."


	2. Without HIm

Seungcheol stares at his reflection in his bathroom mirror and took note at how he looks. He looks pale, his tan skin was looking as if it was losing it's color. His face was also looking quite thin. Had he been losing weight? He wasn't doing it intentionally this time around but the weight loss was more noticeable without his oversized clothes

Seungcheol took a breath and winced when he feels a sharp pain in his chest that was more pronounce than it was last week

Dear God, what is happening to me?

Maybe going to the doctor is a good idea after all

Seungcheol brushed his teeth and did all necessary business before wearing his favourite jacket and ripped jeans. He grabs his phone which lit up to show a picture of him with Joshua and Jeonghan that he took last summer when they visited Busan to visit his parents. The three of them was making kimchi when it got a bit messy and they ended up cleaning the whole kitchen with a reprimand from Seungcheol's mother. They looked so messy but they were so happy

A new set of cough threatens to rise from his throat and Seungcheol closed the phone before going out of his room

Seungcheol was living alone in his comfortable apartment. It was just right for one person to live in, comfy and warm. The payment was also reasonable and was near his school. In just a few weeks, the three of them would be graduating. Joshua in performing arts, Jeonghan in design and Seungchoeol in business

"You ready?" Seungcheol asks Jeonghan who made himself comfortable in his favourite couch while typing on his phone

Jeonghan casts his eyes from his phone to Seungcheol and smiled. "Yeah, Shua is done getting ready as well. His parents allowed him since, surprise surprise!, you're there!"

Seungcheol shook his head before ushering Jeonghan out of is apartment

\----------

"Hello Mrs Hong." Jeonghan's sickeningly sweet voice greeted the older woman who was watching him like she can see through Jeonghan's sins which, for all Seungcheol knew, maybe she could

"Is Joshua ready?" Jeonghan attempted to look inside the house but Mrs Hong coughs which made Jeonghan and Seungcheol cast their attention to her. The woman, despite being in her mid forties was still so young looking, with her still smooth skin and well built frame. However, her eyes showed doubt and a shade that was close to irritation

Seungcheol could see that despite being there with Jeonghan, he was sort of invisible towards the religious woman who only had her eyes towards Jeonghan who was contemplating the long haired angel or all that he's worth. Seungcheol then cough his own to gain the attention of the woman. It works as the piercing brown eyes shifted from Jeonghan towards him. Being under the smoldering gaze of Joshua's mother was really something as it made Seungcheol nervous

Seungcheol took a deep breath before releasing his own gummy smile that his own mother dubbed as something that could get him through under 'any situation'. 

"Hello Mrs. Hong. It's been a while since I saw you" Seungcheol starts and gained more confidence as the woman's gaze started to soften. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to visit, it's been a busy month after all." Seungcheol explains and the woman finally smiled for the first time since they arrived in front of her doorstep.

"Oh my dear, it's quite alright." Mrs Hong says. "Although I miss you so much. And here I thought you were finally here to visit this old woman." 

"Auntie I'll make sure to visit next time and I'll bring food with me." Seungcheol plays along but hell if he's going to visit without his friends. "Were just going to celebrate the final week of school so we decided on movies." He smoothly transitioned and at the corner of his eyes,, he saw Jeonghan staring at him silently with his own smile

The woman then looks sold at the explanation and in no time, Joshua was standing there with his mother.

God, Joshua looks so good

With his chocolate brown hair and gentle features, Joshua could easily pass as one of the most ethereal person he knows. The simple shirt and cardigan he was wearing only adds to the overall 'gentle' vibe. Yeah, now that he thinks about it, while Jeonghan has that beauty that makes you envious, Joshua had the beauty that draws you in towards him. It was a slow creeping beauty that only gets more beautiful as you continue to stare at it.

"Hello Han" Joshua's voice was so smooth when he speaks Jeonghan's name that it broke the spell that his looks had cast on Seungcheol. Joshua's gaze then turns to him and the smile that Joshua gave him was both of happiness and gratefulness that managed to easily make his own heart beat erratically. It almost hurts really, as his chest begins to tighten once again

"Hello Cheol." 

\----------

"So, here we are." Jeonghan says as they stand in front of the mall where the cinemas are. Jeonghan looks back at him where he was just silently trailing behind the couple who was holding hands all the way. It physically hurts him being beside them. He wasn't part of what they had so why would he walk beside them? But it also hurts walking behind them. It made him so _painfully_ aware of just how different they treat him from each other

"Oh? Uh yeah." Seungcheol pretends to look up from hi phone that really held nothing of importance. He stares at the two who was looking at him. Before he could say anything however, Joshua beats him into it. "Do you want to watch with us? I mean thanks to you I was able to get out." Joshua suggests with a small smile that hid nothing but the truth

Seungcheol wished he could. He wanted to spend time with the two but... he knows better. It would only hurt, and the pain he was in just by walking behind them was almost unbearable, how would they expect him to be with them while watching a movie without hurting? 

He'd rather not subject himself with that torture. It was bad enough that he always see them being so sweet to each other, he didn't need them to rub it in his face the whole time during the movie. He wasn't a masochist.

He knows that the two would be so chummy no matter what movie they were going to watch. Romance? The worst type as they would begin to smile like fools towards each other and start whispering on how they were like that...like the couple in the movie. Jeonghan would be so affectionate and Joshua would accept any advances from Jeonghan. Horror? Jeonghan would only curl himself towards Joshua and Joshua would be soft and lean towards him and caress his fingers and say some comforting things. Comedy? They would start to give some inside jokes that only the two of them know and would laugh at something that held some underlying meaning that was somehow connected in their relationship.

Seungcheol knows

How many times had he witness it to know? a lot

Maybe he was a masochist after all

Seungcheol then realize that he still needs to answer the question that Joshua asked him. He smiled at his friends and scratch his head. "Oh, I'm sorry Shua. I need to go somewhere but maybe next time." He responded and did not miss how Jeonghan smiled gratefully towards him

"Is that so? Well okay then. Take care." Joshua says as him and Jeonghan started to walk at the cinema. Hand in hand, fingers interlocked

Whole with each other...without him

Seungcheol winced as a sharp pain struck his chest which left him heaving. He almost fell to the ground if it wasn't for the hands that grabbed his arms

Seungcheol could almost see the stranger underneath his teary vision....he could see that the stranger was a male. Judging from the short hair and strong brows...he couldn't make more of how the stranger look before passing out

\-------------  
Seungcheol slowly opens his eyes as his consciousness starts to waken

Where was he?

Seungcheol panics as he realizes that the ceiling he was staring at was not his bedroom nor those that he sees at the hospital. No, the ceiling was expensive looking. Seungcheol stares around and saw that the room was definitely not something he has seen before. The room was filled with modern looking furniture and abstract painting. It screamed 'rich' in every way and in that notion alone was enough to make Seungcheol roll off the bed in panic. 

The sudden action however caused a jolt of pain to ripple across his chest. It made Seungcheol struggle to breathe. It was akin as to how fishes try to gasp for water when they are on land. He felt like there was something moving across his chest

"Easy, I don't want you choking on blood on my rugs." A new voice spoke and it made Seungcheol whip his head to where the voice was from and saw that at the corner of the room was a man...a teenager? sitting comfortably on one of the chairs, cross legged and looking at him

"W-what are you...who, where...where am I?" Seungcheol gasp out with a raspy voice

"Wow, that was like, three questions in one go." The stranger chuckles. "To answer your questions, I am a deity. The name is Cupid and you are in my house." The stranger answers as he stood up and walks over to Seungheol who tries to move away

"You're- You're what now?" Seungcheol stammers. What kind of drama was this?

However, now that the stranger was close towards him, he can finally see how handsome the stranger is. Sharp jawline, strong brows, full lips and...and eyes that looked like molten gold. The stranger looks young, maybe even younger than Seungcheol but he had the aura that screamed otherwise. Despite the modern objects and clothes that the stranger had surrounded himself, he gave off a feeling that he was older that everything inside the room, including Seungcheol in that matter

"I'm Cupid. Y'know, what you humans described as that baby with an arrow and chubby cheeks." The stranger laughs and stares at Seungcheol. "You humans are so stupid. I mean yeah, I look cute as hell but my bow isn't as much." The man says

Seungcheol was just beginning to process what was happening around him. He then raise a brow at the man who calls himself 'cupid'

"Um, I don't think-" Seungcheol cuts himself. He wanted to say that the person was crazy. Who the heck would introduce himself as Cupid? This man may be a psychopath or something. "Can you, um, let me out? I think my friends would be worried."

The stranger snorts. "Yeah, they're worried alright." The stranger stares at him like what he said was something funny but the stare suddenly turns serious. "You don't believe me when I told you I'm Cupid?" 

The stranger then raised his hand and Seungcheol panics as the stranger moved his hand towards him. Seungcheol tries to fight the hand off but when it came in contact with his chest, a ripple of pain blossomed in his chest and he saw weird lines coat the strangers hands. Seungcheol also didn't miss how the stranger's eyes glowed a bright gold

"Believe me now?' The stranger smirks and Seungcheol nods repeatedly. The man's touch on his chest felt like a burning rod that was lodged inside of him

He gasp in relief when the stranger finally removed his hands and clawed his chest to try to breathe in air

"You have a one of a kind flower kid. I'm almost tempted to take it right now." The stranger- okay, Cupid says. "But it's still not fully bloomed"

"What do you mean?" Seungcheol asks. He was really asking so many questions in the span of the past hour than he does in his classes

Cupid, was thankfully patient enough to answer.

"Do you know Hanahaki disease?"


	3. Choice

Seungcheol stares at his hands

He inhales, he almost didn't want to believe what the deity had said but the ache in his chest only serves as prove of what Cupid just told him.

_"You're dying. That's the gist of it." Cupid says as he chuckles at what Seungcheol's expression may look like at that moment. The deity didn't even beat around the bush and while Seungcheol appreciate direct and blunt people, he really need a slow approach when some deity was telling him that he was dying. You just don't tell people they're dying for pete's sake! The deity has an obvous problem with his social skill and Seungcheol wasn't having any of it_

_"Whoa whoa whoa! Did you just say I'm dying? As in going to die?" Seungchol stammers and Cupid just giggles- The fucking audacity- before patting his shoulders in an attempt to maybe calm him down and get him used to the fact that he was in fact going to die_

_"Yeah man, I mean you chose this." Cupid sighs and Seungcheol almost killed himself sooner when he snap his neck towards the man that was lying in the bed. It was a funny picture really. Seungcheol had never imagined a deity to tell him his death news or to have that deity looking so bored while lying on his bed in his house while he himself was pacing around the said deity's room. What has his life had gotten to? He swear he was just crying himself over Big Bang Theory's finale and was stressing about his finals._

_"Hold up- You saying I chose this? To die?" Seungcheol can't believe this. "Maybe I'm just having a really bad case of cough and not what this- this flower disease! This is ridiculous!" Seungcheol complains. Seriously, what was he still doing at this psycho's house? He should be getting out! Maybe he really had lost it_

_Cupid groans in protest. "Haven't you been listening? It was your choice to love!" Cupid stood up and started to walk towards him with his eyes glowing gold. "And this flower disease is very real. You want me to remind you again?" Cupid says with a dangerous promise lacing his voice as he raised his hands_

"Seriously..." Seungcheol mutters as he slowly eats the instant noodles that he bought after his encounter with the deity. It was his comfort food but not even the noodles that he loves so much can make him feel fine. He wonders if this is what all of those patients feel after the doctors deem their disease as incurable...that their life was just a waiting game of when Death would finally catch up and take them.

He took his hands and lays it in his chest, where he felt that mind shattering pain when Cupid touch him. Well, no matter how much he doesn't want to believe it, life just forces the reality on him. His chest had started to hurt once again and this time it wasn't sharp, the pain was heavy. It was constant and very very much _real_

"Well fuck man." Seungcheol almost never swore but maybe the situation can allow it. He was dying after all. Seungcheol laughs at his situation and casts his eyes on one of the photographs that lay on one of the table. It was the three of them, first year collage with smiles on their faces; excited and ready for the new challenges. Seungcheol just stares at the image of Jeonghan and Jisoo, he didn't spare his own image a glance. Slowly, Seungcheol felt a rustle inside his chest and he started coughing once again. Tears cloud his vision, something he was alarmingly becoming familiar, and he reached down his throat to take a lodged red petal from his trachea

Seungcheol stares at the petal that was covered with mixed blood and saliva. The petal was small but it felt so freaking painful to remove. He gazed again at their picture and chuckles. 

"When I said you guys would be the death of me, I didn't mean like this." Seungcheol tells no one. He was alone, he can be honest with his feelings inside his apartment. It was where he could say all these things, confess what he wanted without fear. "But I guess, no one can deny that I really do love you huh?"

After a few hours of cleaning up his room and his body, Seungcheol was ready to call it a day

The clock was reading '8:36' but Seungcheol felt like it was so much later. So much had happened; he help his friends, which he secretly loves, to their date, met cupid, learns that he has flowers growing inside his lungs and then learned that he was dying because he is in love

It has been a very long day for him

And how could he forget the 'warning' that cupid gave him

Yeah, the little shit had the nerve to tell him that he will, and Seungcheol quotes "Take that pretty flower in his chest when he dies." Seungcheol knows that technically, Cupid was older than him but when he looks so young like that, Seungcheol wanted nothing more than to teach the little gremlin the meaning of respect. He also told Seungcheol of his 'choice' that will decide his final outcome. Cupid says that he could take surgery to remove it but with the removal of the flowers was the removal of his feelings towards his friends and that was already a big no no for him. Cupid also says that he could make them fall in love with him to remove the flower and while it sounds near impossible, Seungcheol was willing to try. When he said that to Cupid though, the deity just snickers and told him that he already lost the game he was playing with love

Whatever, Seungcheol thoughts, He will try no matter what

He had been in love with his friends as long as he could remember, maybe the reason why he had this disease was to finally make him grow a pair and confess

**Author's Note:**

> Real fun starts from here


End file.
